Day 6

To lose weight, you have to make peace with your body.
Yesterday evening I attended a dinner fundraiser. This was challenging; it was my first overtly public denial of food. As my table was dismissed to the buffet line I remained and sat quietly, thumbing through the event brochure and attempting not to engage any passing eyes. The MC for the event approached me warmly and introduced himself, rescuing me from the catalog. We engaged in a brief chat after our introductions and then it came: "Aren't you eating?". "No", I replied. I'm actually doing a 60-day juice fast, so I'll just be enjoying the water this evening, but it looks very good- thank you". He paused for a moment, reflected, and wished me luck with my endeavor.

The evening went on and many more encounters like this took place. The food did look and smell very good, but I was glued to my water, and thankful that the table pitcher was situated directly in front of me at the table. I must have made six or more trips to the restroom due to this pitcher yesterday evening- yes, it was beginning to become almost awkward when I would excuse myself to the restroom yet again by the end of the night. But when you have nothing in you, whatever you do take in is on the express train to the exit.

While pondering my fast during the dinner and enjoying the smell of the stuffed chicken breast, rigatoni, hot (and solid, not to mention) vegetables that the table was enjoying, I had a moment that really made some sense to me. After abusing my body for such a long time, I was going to have to make peace with it, and there wasn't going to be an immediate outcome. You might say, well that's obvious Zak. Even a daft fellow would know that from the start. And you'd be right for saying it. However, something happened that really set it in- like it sunk into my whole psyche and the thought advanced itself from a state of being 'fleeting' to now being 'my new reality'. The weight of it took hold.

And it's true. Years of bad, or maybe even modest food decisions would now have to be balanced with good decisions to achieve my ultimate goal of weight loss. There would have to be a reckoning, and in this realization, the thought that I would be fasting for so long set in. This was quickly followed by fear: What if I don't achieve my goal... What if it takes a lot longer than I've bargained for... What if my expectations fail me, ultimately? The last question gets to the root of it, and merits repeating: What if my expectations fail me?? I can only answer this question with another at this point: What is my level of resolve to achieve my goal?

You see, to make peace with yourself, with your body in order to lose weight, you're going to have to give up an equal portion to what you have taken in to achieve a "balanced outcome".

In Luke 12: 57-59, Jesus says the following about making peace with our adversaries:

"Yes, and why even of yourselves, do you not judge what is right? When you go with your adversary to the magistrate, make every effort along the way to settle with him, lest he drag you to the judge, deliver you to the officer, and the officer throw you into prison. I tell you, you shall not depart from there till you have paid the very last mite."

This relational model for settling relationship disputes also works with ourselves. My adversary is my health as effected / burdened / offended by my weight. The magistrate is the scale for me. I've gone to it many 'a time and paid no credence to its warnings. This has been years in the making. In a stroke of finality however, the over-burdened scale will eventually result in health issues that force me to the doctor for resolution (the judge above). If the doctor will no longer be able to help me, I will go to the hospital (the officer above) and they will see me onto my ultimate end (death, or prison). So, as the verse goes, I should make peace with my body through an approving scale, lest our dispute puts me to an early end.

It interests me greatly how this process of peace making will take place though. With the offense being such a long and drawn out happening, such will be the peace-making I know. Call this Newton's Law, call it Yen & Yang, or call it Causality... The result is the same. The healing process must first take into account, and then provide restitution to, the totality of the damages.

Maybe the same can apply to our  relationships with each other.

And if our faith in our ability to make this peace with ourselves or others is faltering, I would give you this thought to ponder: As the ever-wise Jose Diaz said: "Don't be afraid to bet on the horse with the shortest legs, because they often have the biggest heart". Don't sell yourself or anyone else short because you think the challenge is too great, and believe that you or they are not up to the task; they just might surprise you.

Encouraging word for the day from John 4: 32-34

But He said to them, "I have food to eat that you know nothing about." Then his disciples said to each other, "Could someone have brought Him food?" "My food," said Jesus, "is to do the will of Him who sent me and to finish His work.


Until tomorrow~